Here are my thoughts:
He's not into you – Well obviously this is a no-brainer, but if he doesn’t call maybe he is taking into account that you said you don’t like clingy people.......
He's prettier than you – In a gender confused society, you crazy ladies only have yourself to blame, remember when you said to him “God, don’t you moisturise?” well guess what, he did it for you and now he likes it.......
He loves sport too much – Yeah... well you love shoes/handbags/useless crap too much, PWNED
He's the constant critic – OMG everyone is a critic, sure if it’s constant, then that’s not being a critic, that’s being a dick, oh and those magazines you buy... yeah the bitchy ones.... sorry that’s being a critic as well............ZOMG LOOK AT HER HAIR, LOLZ LOOKS LIKE A DEAD CAT MATING WITH A SEAL!!!!111121221
He's damaged goods – Everyone has a sob story, everyone wants sympathy, everyone has been hurt, if you can’t work at it with someone you love then you shouldn’t be together anyway.............
He's married – Seriously if you’re that fucking stupid, then it’s your own fault............
He's a no-hoper – See above
He has too much baggage – Sure, but compare it to your own first....
He can't make a decision – Maybe he likes to keep the passion alive by being unpredictable... I thought that’s what women like?
He wants to be a star – Ok, so you don’t want him to have ambitions but you don’t want him to be a no-hoper..... hmm.......
So the perfect man apparently?
2 comments:
Wow nice break down of a totally useless article.
I think there is more wisdom in this mockup how to not fail at life.
http://img242.imageshack.us/img242/6827/howtonotfailatlifepn3he9.png
Big thing it picks up is the suck.
It has a massive list of all the things that are wrong with the girlfriend then the character asks what to do.
The response....
Keep on going because as you should have learned in step 1 - you can never tell how much you suck...
Human beings are programmed to notice the imperfections of others more than the imperfections of themselves.
However I do agree with the basic stuff in there like married and stuff but seriously. If you are stupid enough to go with someone who is married then you have more flaws then he has.
I read this months ago, and didn't think to say how awesome it is at the time.
On second reading, it is STILL awesome, and I think you should think about doing some more writing Chad... seriously.
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